Relationships: Race You To The Altar?!

The Diary Of A Single Gay Man #8:  Relationships: Race You To The Altar?!


           "I now pronounce you (insert couple identity here)"....a phrase every person dreams of being associated with one day.  Typically we're brainwashed to believe that we should hear those words before a certain age.  A dear friend of mine is hell bent on saying those words before she turns 27, another would like to say those words and start a family before 25.  I have dreamed of those words as I type before you being the undesirable age of 35 years young.  I've heard it all: "OMG you don't look 35!" "I would have never guessed... you don't look a day over 27!" or my favorite "No fucking way! Really? Sorry that's just too old for me! Too bad!".....Believe me I already thought I'd have the dream come true already with said wedding, house, dog and possibly even a little one running around already (gays can adopt children).  Alas the days come and go and I am no closer to my dream then I was when I was really 27.   I honestly used to say if it doesn't happen by 30 it's never going to happen....add 5 years to that now and ask me what I think...Society dictates to both straight and gay alike a proverbial clock that ticks faster then a speeding bullet.  Families can drill into your head a sort of blueprint on how your life should look at a certain age and we as individuals can put the most pressure on ourselves to achieve certain milestones because "everyone else is so why am I not?".  This begs me to ask the question....When it comes to the topic of relationships are we so brainwashed into thinking that by a certain age ME needs to turn into WE that is becomes the game of all games, Race you to the altar?!...

Relationships ugh...that word such a tricky one...it is the holy grail for almost everyone to achieve and maintain.  However, it is also one of the most feared words ever created.  If you mention it too fast, people head for the hills.  If you don't mention it within a certain time the other person becomes frustrated and bitter.  Where is the happy medium?  Why are there time constraints on everything?...typically we race against the clock in our teens to start dating....then to have sex for the first time...to having our first love....to getting the ring....to having the wedding...to starting a family...STOP!!!!!!  Pump the brakes people!  What happens if you don't achieve those things in the time frame we are EXPECTED to?  Do we go to an island of misfit toys banished by society as relationship rejects only to roam alone in sadness with a stamp that says TIME RAN OUT?

I say fuck society and to anyone who has placed a premature expiration date on someone because they didn't go down the implied path.  Every person on this earth is WORTHY or being loved and being IN love.  For some it's easy, for others it's difficult....but HOPE springs eternal in each and every one of us!  For those of us who have given up the war because we lost a couple of battles, armor up and get back out on the front lines there is still a fight to be fought.  I have accepted the fact that maybe my "happy ending" will be later in life and my plans may just have to be reconfigured.  In the end however that eternal search for a relationship thrives in me everyday and I will not give up searching for it no matter how bruised battered or hurt I may become.  Hope for love pushes me forward....hope for love pushes me towards the altar....hope for love pushes me through life....and it should do the same for you until you find it...regardless what path you wander down to get to it.

Until next time....Love Unconditionally

The Single Gay Man

RS